Just Gronk Doing Gronk Once Again

Why is it that Gronk never ceases to amaze me? The guy is comedic gold every time he walks, talks or moves for that matter. I mean the guys literally walks on stage, grabs the microphone and says 6 words that have no correlation to each other. Do you think he even knows what half those words mean? Bro-Haha, Asparagus, Dumbo, Dingbat, Beyonce – the guy is everywhere. And the kid just drops an absolute bomb with Albatross. I haven’t used the word Albatross in 10 years. I knew it was some type of bird or some shit but I have no idea which one. You know he heard it once in his life, it got lost in the hog posh of his brain then some how it rattled to the front and he just shouted it out. I bet if you asked him what’s that mean he respond “Wait, what I say?” Just completely utter hilarity across the board.

P.s. Fun fact: I was in Vegas last June and he was there. He came into Haze and lit the place on fire. When we left he was actually on our red eye home and he was a mess. Said he hadn’t slept in days and missed being jerked off by multiple chicks in the pool Cabana. Guys epic.

Audi’s Prom Commercial Is A Miss

Listen this commercial has lie written all over it and Audi is just force feeding it to you.  The kid obviously has a nice house, seems to have a loving mother and father plus he has the atypical cute/witty little sister. His mom has ‘stay at home’ written all over her and the dad reeks of CPA or Lawyer status. Not to mention the elephant in  the room…oh just a 2013 Audi S6 with a MSRP of 73 grand. So don’t try to sell me this poor song and dance (see what I did there) about this teenage boy who, let’s be honest, isn’t that bad looking. Sure he’s a little nerdy, has the boy band hair cut but I thought all the sluts are into that now. Juice heads are out, nerdy, intelligent, high school musical looking white boys are in. And to be honest I’m not sure that kid even went to that school. I mean can I really believe not one person didn’t say hi to him as he b-lined it to the Prom Queen. And why was she already crowned?  How long did it take him to get to his “high school”? 3 hours? Shit, there are so many questions… I think I need to see the movie. Put it on lifetime or the O-Network

P.s. You have to get a hotter prom Queen. She was good looking but no way smoke status.

P.p.s Don’t think I didn’t notice his style. Shit, that Bow tie was looking dead on. No way this kid isn’t laying pipe 24-7.

Red Head Boy Singer For The Win

I don’t always have the answer in this life but I’ll tell you this, this kid gets it. Just sitting there digging deep and singing one of the most sexual songs ever made. Do you I have red hair? Sure do. Do I have a curtain in my room that accents said red hair? You bet I do. Do I have a voice that would make a 1000 virgins wet? Yes, Yes and Yes. Go get him kid. Sing that song, cry yourself to sleep and go get ’em another day.

P.s. You have to sing this song and squint so hard. I bet it’s like sneezing with your eyes open, it absolutely impossible to do that, and it’s  absolutely impossible to sing this song without the mega squint.

EDIT: Wait I thought gingers didn’t have souls. Now I’m all confused. Is that really his voice?