What Color Am I Today? – Tickle Me Pink

 

I hate today. I absolutely incredibly hate today. I don’t want to work, mother-fucking-nature decided to dump a load on us and everyone is miserable at work. All I know is that i have 4 hours left in the day and I couldn’t be happier. But you know what, the minute I get out of work I get to sit in an hour of traffic because once people see snow they forget how to drive and all chaos enthuse. It’s pretty fun. Nothing else on the agenda today. Just pure fake happiness and smiles from this guy. See you on the other side.

P.s. My hangover is almost cured, it’s a remarkable feeling.

What Color Am I Today? – Tumbleweed

 

I couldn’t have picked a better color for today. I feel like absolute dog poop, my nose is all jammed up, my brain feels like its swelling beyond all belief and I just stopped my bloody nose. I just ran out earlier to grab a sandwich for lunch and my city is a ghost town. Little tumbleweed is getting blown around out there. It’s barely even snowing right now and everyone is bunked up in their house like it’s Armageddon. I will not conform, I’m going about my day as if it’s a normal Friday. Work, Eat, Blog, Booze. Hey Nemo – Suck it.

Hey Nemo, You’re Overrated

Everyone is freaking out about this winter storm, so call me arrogant but the day I’m afraid of anything named Nemo is the day I catch the gay. Sure, 2 feet of snow was a big deal back in ’78 but did they even have plows then, did they have snow blowers, how about shovels? We are in the 21st century here folks, that storm is old news. Shit I think they still had horse and buggies then no wonder why it cost about 2 billion (if you take in inflation) dollars of damage. I’m not scared of Nemo, the fish or this over indulged storm. I may get my 2 person tent, set up shop on my front yard, just to prove that Nemo can’t hurt me. All I need is a sleeping bag, a few power bars and a canteen. I’ll stare right into Nemo’s face and flush him down the toilet.

JM – 1  Nemo – 0

Hey Mother Nature Let’s Be Somewhat Realistic Here

 

Can we please talk about what a bitch Mother Nature is being right now. The other day I had 3 layers on, a pair of gloves and a damn face mask; now she’s bring this heat my way. I could take out my boat shoes, pastel shorts and Vineyard Vine shirt  in this weather. I firmly believe that we pay our dues in the winter by being miserable and cold then when summer comes we get nothing but clear skies and beach weather. If she is giving us these warm days in January, then she has something terrible up her sleeve in June. Probably get snow or some shit maybe a tornado or two. The days are short this time of year so blast away with the cold weather and snow storm because come summer I want it to be 90’s with a slight breeze. Especially considering I’ll have my beach body intact.

P.s. Don’t tease me with warm weather than drop us below freezing. It’s not kosher.