The treadmill might be my ultimate arch nemesis, nope…. no, it’s Tony Massarotti, he’s my only true foe but the treadmill is a close second. I’ll get to Tony MAZZ another day. Back to the treadmill. I absolutely dread jumping on that baby eating machine. I get on, I always hit manual because I’ve had issues with all the other ‘presets’ that they think are good for you and I try to just run. But it never works out for me, I’m all over the place, smash the handle bars on my right and left, it’s a miserable experience. Running in one place for more than 2 minutes is nearly impossible, not because it doesn’t feel like you’re going any where but more so, I can’t stay in a straight line. From the day I was born, I have been genetically challenge with I believe the medical term is ‘ding toed’, so when I run I’m all over the damn machine. I can’t fix this issue. I’ve tried to look down and concentrate on my feet and where I’m stepping. That’s just a disaster waiting to happen, I think I get worse because I’m usually one step away from loosing my balance. I’ve also tried just forgetting about my ‘zig-zag’ running style but that causes my feet to hit each other. All this is happening while in my mind I can’t stop pondering what the person next to me is thinking. I know it can’t be good considering his or her thought process is along the line of ‘Is this kid retarded? Poor kid is a safety hazard.’
If all that isn’t bad enough, one day I did use one of the presets labeled ‘CADIO’. Never again. The god damn treadmill had a mind of it’s own. I’m pretty sure the thing was inclining while also increasing speed at a dramatic rate. You’d think the machine would recognize that I was struggling in the first place. Ya sure thing, bump it up to 9.2 when I could barely keep up at 4.5. Then what do you think it does, 20 seconds later it’s hitting the breaks like when you see a cop merge onto the highway. Now not only do I have to worry about my feet, I’m worrying about the gears this thing is putting my through. And lets just ignore the elephant in the room considering I hate running, I can’t run for long periods of time because I’m fat. I quit treadmill, you win.
Permanent Crayon 