Although St. Patty’s Day On A Sunday Seems Like A Good Idea, It’s Not

 

My national holiday has came and went and it’s safe to say, a small part of me died. Having St. Patrick’s Day on a Sunday is God telling us that we have no control over ourselves. Since I was on a long weekend, I blacked out Friday and Saturday which you would think would stop me from going hard again on Sunday but no, I decided that I owed it to my fellow Irish brothers to get back on the horse and destroy my brain cells one more time. Right now my head feels like the equivalent of a boxer who just went 12 rounds and didn’t throw a punch. Just absorbing head shots and body shots all night without any push back. I’m looking at this screen right now and all I’m seeing is snow when your TV cable goes out. My eyes hurt, my head hurts, my leg hurts, my neck hurts, and my stomach is turning. I don’t want to speak because I’m scared my vocals are destroyed from yelling for 3 days straight and I’m mega scared to look at my penis because the girl it had been inside Saturday could of quite possibly been a whore. And I mean that seriously, there’s a legitimate chance she had a pimp. I’m not talking to any of my friends for a least 3 weeks and I refuse to look at my bank account until my next pay check.

I hope the rest of you are having a better Monday than me… Actually no, if you’re not dying today then you’re shifty and I don’t trust your ass.

P.s. It’s incredible how many squiggly red lines I’m seeing right now.

What Color Am I Today? – Fuchsia

Good morning my miserable minions. It’s another Monday of sadness as we embark on the dreaded work week. Although west have some positives to look at, it’s St. Pattys Day week, yes that’s correct, we celebrate it more than one day and also I have a 4 day work week. All I’m thinking about us 4 o’clock on Thursday and I’m home free to get drunk, act sloppy and make as many bad decisions as possible.

Before my goodness can begin, ill have to dodge a shit ton of work, my bosses and everyone of my employees. I don’t need their miserable lives conflicting with mine. So here to another Monday of staying out of sight and ducking everyone’s phone calls.

What Color Am I Today? – Antique Brass

Misery loves company. If you’re having a bad day, keep reading, if you’re having a good day, eat shit and move along. I don’t want your positive, fun, happy attitude around these grave sites today. I’m miserable. 1. It’s Monday 2. I’ve had to respond to about 300 emails because of some of my employees are children and can’t get along. Due to the 300+ issues I’ve had to talk to HR way too many times and write way too many reports. All I want is this day to be over and over right now. I’m on lunch at 230pm, do you understand how hungry I am? And I don’t plan on going back for at least a hour or so. I think I’m going to administer a no talk rule on Mondays, maybe add in no phone calls or emails either. Everyone just sits in silence and gets their shit done. If you have an issue, wait till tomorrow. If you can’t wait, tell your problems to Jesus.

On a happy note I have a hockey game tonight. So that mean I get to skate, drink beers and talk nonsense for a good 2 hours. Things are looking up.