It’s all over. 10 weeks or so of nothing but healthy food, barely no beer and working out continuously like a damn dog. I missed my adjusted goal by about 2 lbs but I couldn’t be happier. Cutting nearly 17lbs off my body while hopefully also adding some muscle, you must look at the positives. Sure my body is GQ-eque but at least people wont puke when I take my shirt off anymore. I guess it’s a win for everyone. So since I’m going on vacation I’ll probably just gain it back in a week. I can’t wait.
Initial Weight: 194 (Started Jan 29th)
Actual Weight: 177
Target Weight: 180 (Ends April 2nd)
New Target Weight: 175 (Ends tomorrow so maybe I can cut 2 lbs but I don’t really care)
After 9 total weeks I’ve finally begun to slow down. I went on a mini vacation with the boys 2 weekends ago and that definitely wasn’t for the good of my body. I drank roughly 80 beers in 3 days, I ate like a damn cow and I didn’t even look at a weight. Although I did hit the sauna about 10 times considering it was in my hotel room. To lose another 3 lbs this week is going to be extremely hard to hit that 175. I’ve been increasing weight on all my exercises and have also increased my push ups basically ten fold. My cadio is down basically because I refuse to do that. I did run 2 miles the other day and I was completely miserable. After I run, I basically just want to go home so that causes a problem.
I’m going strong on the food front. I haven’t really cheated at all minus that one weekend however even then I didn’t eat any sweets, fried food or soda. All in all my body has changed, not perfect but it has made a transformation. In hein sight I probably could of used a workout plan and a set diet but I’m too stubborn for that shit. I’d rather just go to the gym, do the work outs I feel like doing and go home. Onto another week of hell and only 5 days till Lent is over.
This is the type of day I’m having. I watched this from beginning to end and I wasn’t even mad about it. To be honest I’m happy this wasn’t a GIF or I’d probably be glued to my monitor for 24 hour straight. If I could explain my brain right now, this is exactly the video I would show. Simple, slow paced and mesmerizing is actually how I’m feeling right now. A basic wheel just turning, a CC getting crushed, then being dropped into a bucket. Nothing complicated about it, just straight forwards and rather rewarding.
Can I get a golf clap please actually for all my hard work, borderline anorexia and near depression for missing buffalo fingers I deserve a standing-O. That’s right everyone stand up please and show some respect. 15 pounds in 6 total weeks doesn’t sound too great but don’t forget I (hopefully) gained some muscle along the way and barely did any cadio. That’s right no cadio. I just ripped it day in and day out to get my self to fighting weight.
Now I intially had a target weight of 175 when I thought I weighed 188 but I changed that because I actually weighed in at 194. This caused me to change my target to 180 because I didn’t think 19 pounds was that realistic. But since I have over achieved I’m going to go for that extra 4 pounds. My new tar
Pulling pranks are fun. Having pranks pulled on you, not so fun. I’ve never tried this shirt trick with or without the asshole in my face but even without it, these guys don’t seem to be feeling too hot. It looks like they can’t even breathe. Why would anyone volunteer for this? I mean if you volunteer, you deserve to get your nose stuck some guys asshole.
Finally some updated pictures to show the progress I’ve made. Not to bad for a white boy, but also not that good either. Arms need some work, chest needs some work and abs need more work. 27 days and counting.
After week 5 of Operation ‘Don’t Be Fat And Gross’ has concluded I’ve finally felt some accomplishment. I got my first, ‘Hey JM did you lose some weight ‘ which felt great. Until that point I wasn’t sure if my body was changing at all. Through these past 5 weeks, I’ve eaten nothing but good healthy food and if I’m the only one to see it then why am I doing it. I don’t care if I’m fat and gross, I care if other people think I’m fat and gross. Although I’ve definitely made some progress, I know everything will change when I get a tan. My body is way to translucent to see any definition but when I get my bronze on, oh shit, I could be on the cover of a Men’s Health Magazine. I still have 27 days until my goal and I know I can hit it but I’ll tell you a little secret, I’m also leaving myself an outside chance to hit my original goal or 175. I’ve been trying to lift a lot to gain muscle so if I miss that the 175 I wont be that upset because I’ll hope that the weight I did put on was pure muscle and not left over fat. Anyways, back to another week of broccoli, chicken, baked potatoes and salads. I’ll see you on the other side.
I’m not going to sit here and say I can drop a beat better than this guy via ass slaps but I’d love to try. I’ve been slapping chicks asses since my kindergarten days, just walking into coloring time and tapping little miss Sandy on her ass, letting her know I’m present. When I was in 6th grade this little smoke bomb Erin used to walk by my locker 20 times a day, and I used to slap her ass 20 times a day. No joke, she used to absolutely freak, but her ass was so tight and I’ll never forget the day she was wearing a tan mini skirt and I just got my hand underneath, gave her the full palm right to the bare ass cheek. Thinking back that one may have crossed the line, but don’t worry all that slapping was the ground work to me banging her years later.
This guys got pretty decent rhythm, I’ll give him that. He also doesn’t have any false slaps, you know when you go to give a nice palm on some chicks ass but it’s almost like a misfire. That’s the worst. Ass doesn’t connect with the hand correctly and the slap sounds like someone coughed. Just not a good situation for anyone. The girls embarrassed, you sure as hell should be embarrassed, it’s quite possibly the same as having a limp dick. I’ll tell you one thing, the ass second to the right absolutely get’s pounded this whole video. I’d say 88% of the total slaps went to ass 3 counting from the left.
Now if we are rating the asses here, I think you have to go with (counting from the left), ass 2, 1, 3, 4. I like 2 because you can see how curvy she is. Look at the waste then bam her ass pops out. I don’t know it’s a tough game to play, you almost can’t lose minus 4. That ass may be too big to handle, might loose my penis in there. Jeez I could diagnose this video all day. Just so much to be said.
P.s. When I went to Montreal after my 18th birthday, I literally played the Drums on this black stripper chicks ass. She fucking loved, kept saying ‘abuse me, abuse me.’ Love it.
The guy on the right looks like an idiot, the guy on the left (Merril Hoge) looks like a bigger idiot.
Til this day, I don’t get how men walk outside without their Ties the proper length. It’s probably one of my biggest pet peeves on another human being, right up there with a uni brow. Every guy should know that the perfect tie length is when the tip hits your belt buckle. It’s a cut and dry subject, black and white, there’s no grey area. I don’t care if your wearing a skinny tie, regular tie or old school fat ties, just get your damn length right.
The ‘too long tie’ pisses me off but the ‘half way up your stomach’ tie takes the cake. How in your right mind can you think a tie that literally is touching your sternum is a good look. It looks like a tiny leash that your owner puts on you to keep you close. It’s just disgusting to say the least. The minute I see a mis-length tie guy, I lose complete respect for him. He may as well be homeless, actually that’s an insult to the homeless, they have more style than you. No guy can or will ever be able to pull off the short tie look. If you think that look is ‘hotness’ you should be shot plain and simple.
P.s. Anyone that ties their tie the correct length but has the other end behind the tie longer than the front. you fit in with the rest of these morons. Never should the back be longer than the front. I don’t care what your excuse it, make the damn knot bigger.
These type of pranks are dumb to me, maybe it’d be funny if I was present and had a hand in it but I just don’t get a laugh out of them. However, what I do love is fat Irish guys who have the authentic accent, I’d say it’s second to none. When he keeps calling them ‘fucking bastards’, I could watch that all day. Everyone knows fat guys fall into the deepest sleep out of anyone, the guy was probably in the 3rd REM cycle banging some smoke bomb while he laid on a bed made of bacon. Regardless though, 100% this guy went right back to sleep. If there is one thing fat guys do best it’s eat and sleep, well maybe fat Irish guys it’s eat sleep and drink.
(I give God 10%, Why do you get 18.) – That’s as classic as it gets
Talk about a Pastor that balls so hard huh. Do you think he gives a shit about 18%. This guy lives by the book and only gives 10% to God. Do you blame this guy for being a miserable old fuck, cause I don’t. Think about his life, he gets paid nothing to preach to people that only go to Church because they ‘believe’ it’ll save them from Hell. And if that’s not enough he as to listen to these self-righteous assholes ‘repent their sins’. Another day, another slut going to confession to apologize for blowing Ken the drug dealer for an ounce of rock. All the while he’s thinking ‘Can I get a blow here? I’ve been celibate my whole life and I’m fucking miserable’. Sure the guy signed up to be Priest but can we give him ONE Sunday off. It’s supposed to be a day of rest but my man Pastor Paul over here can’t sleep in on a Sunday to save his life. I feel bad for the guy, not only shouldn’t he have to tip but he should get his meal free. Hook a brother up or at least give a rub and a tug. Not like it matters if it’s a boy or girl waiter, we all know Priests be swingin’.
Permanent Crayon 
