It’s Good Friday So Don’t Be An Asshole

 

I’m not the most religious in the building but I don’t want God to completely hate me so I abide by a few of his rules. I don’t eat meat on Ash Wednesday and I don’t eat meat on Good Friday nor do I eat meat on any Friday during Lent. Ah, anything else, nope that’s about it. I don’t go to church, I refuse to go to confession because I’m afraid their throw me out of the church forever and I don’t pray because I know it’ll just be lies and selfishness. Saying all that, basically today is a normal day for me minus meat and we get out of work early because my employers discriminate against Jews. So, people go to church, say your prayers and don’t be an asshole and eat meat today. God said not to and we should listen to him.

P.s. I Google searched “Good Friday’, jiminey, it’s a sad image search. It’s all about death and crosses, very inappropriate.

Ash Wednesday And 40+ Days of Forced Dieting

Ah yes Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent and the day where everyone walks around with shit on their forehead. Listen, I’m not a church goer, I don’t go to confession (I probably should) and I don’t pray every night before I go to bed. It’s just not me, if I did, I’d be lying to myself, God and whoever else would be listening. I figure why waste Gods ear on my problems when I’m not going to change anyways. It would be selfish of me, that being said I do participate in Lent. My whole family does it as a tribute to my grandmother who pasted away 2 years ago. My grandmother was a very religious person, she used to live and die by the book, and when Lent rolled around she used to give up Ice Cream and Candy. After she passed, my whole family decided we would do the same. So for the next 40+ days I’m ‘sweets’ free which shouldn’t be too hard considering I’m on this diet. Let the games begin.

P.s. Last gave up Ice Cream, Candy, Soda and Fried Food. That sucked, not doing that again. I’m on a diet but I’m not stupid.

MC Pastor And His Wife Break It Down

Jesus Christ is my niggah, he’s the son of the original G. -Best line going

This video couldn’t have come at a better time. Just a pastor and his wife breaking it down and being unintentionally racist. Hey, I aint mad at them, they are trying to get a point across and how else is that possible without going “hood.” If I know talent, which I do, this guys got mad flow and some tight rhymes. Eminem always talks about bending the words, well now I know who taught him that skill. Not to mention this guy is a genius, dropping this video with Ash Wednesdays coming up, this hits the chart at the perfect time. With the addition of his sexy ass wife who’s basically begging for it on camera, you have a hit.

P.s. Old dude just going HAM in the background. Broken him, who gives a shit.

 

Preach Pastor Preach

(I give God 10%, Why do you get 18.) – That’s as classic as it gets

Talk about a Pastor that balls so hard huh. Do you think he gives a shit about 18%. This guy lives by the book and only gives 10% to God. Do you blame this guy for being a miserable old fuck, cause I don’t. Think about his life, he gets paid nothing to preach to people that only go to Church because they ‘believe’ it’ll save them from Hell. And if that’s not enough he as to listen to these self-righteous assholes ‘repent their sins’. Another day, another slut going to confession to apologize for blowing Ken the drug dealer for an ounce of rock. All the while he’s thinking ‘Can I get a blow here? I’ve been celibate my whole life and I’m fucking miserable’. Sure the guy signed up to be Priest but can we give him ONE Sunday off. It’s supposed to be a day of rest but my man Pastor Paul over here can’t sleep in on a Sunday to save his life. I feel bad for the guy, not only shouldn’t he have to tip but he should get his meal free. Hook a brother up or at least give a rub and a tug. Not like it matters if it’s a boy or girl waiter, we all know Priests be swingin’.