Does Going To Full Service Gas Stations Make Me A Pussy?

(For some reason this little slut doesn’t pump my gas. My guy looks more like Mike Ditka)

I went to get gas today with my friend and I promptly pulled into a full service gas station per usual. And this kid starts yapping that I’m a bitch, why wouldn’t I just pump it myself … Blah blah blah. I don’t pump it because I don’t want to hence the reason I pay someone to do it. I’m in my clean blue jeans, I don’t need to be spilling the gasoline all over me before I’m going out. When I do go to self serve I end up spilling all over the place wasting the money I could of spent to have The homeless guy do it while I sit in my warm car listening to talk radio. Just imagine the scene in dumb and dumber where Harry just starts leaking gasoline all over the place. That’s me in a nutshell every time I’m at the pump.

I figure it’s the same way you pay Mexicans to do your lawn or Chinese people to do your laundry. You’re too lazy to do it, you’re paying them for a service so what the fuck is the problem. Kids a communist, doesn’t want anyone to make money.

P.s. Gasoline smell is incredible. Get a little on your hands and your high as a kite for hours. Thinking about it, maybe I should start pumping my gas.

Audi’s Prom Commercial Is A Miss

Listen this commercial has lie written all over it and Audi is just force feeding it to you.  The kid obviously has a nice house, seems to have a loving mother and father plus he has the atypical cute/witty little sister. His mom has ‘stay at home’ written all over her and the dad reeks of CPA or Lawyer status. Not to mention the elephant in  the room…oh just a 2013 Audi S6 with a MSRP of 73 grand. So don’t try to sell me this poor song and dance (see what I did there) about this teenage boy who, let’s be honest, isn’t that bad looking. Sure he’s a little nerdy, has the boy band hair cut but I thought all the sluts are into that now. Juice heads are out, nerdy, intelligent, high school musical looking white boys are in. And to be honest I’m not sure that kid even went to that school. I mean can I really believe not one person didn’t say hi to him as he b-lined it to the Prom Queen. And why was she already crowned?  How long did it take him to get to his “high school”? 3 hours? Shit, there are so many questions… I think I need to see the movie. Put it on lifetime or the O-Network

P.s. You have to get a hotter prom Queen. She was good looking but no way smoke status.

P.p.s Don’t think I didn’t notice his style. Shit, that Bow tie was looking dead on. No way this kid isn’t laying pipe 24-7.